Please Say A Prayer.....

I am asking that everyone take a moment to say a prayer for all the people that have been or still might be affected by the fires that are happening in Montecitio California area! The website below has coverage on the very sad situation!


http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-sbfire15-2008nov15,0,3157160.story

Always Loved & Never Forgotton

Sorry this entry is late....

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dearest Ginger! Happy birthday to you! I know you are just as beautiful, loving, caring, and devoted up with our heavenly father as you were down here! You are forever missed and never forgotton about!

The Spirit Is Alive

Wow I guess it has been a little bit of time since I last blogged! Oopps my bad! Anyways where do I begin....
I finished the book "The Shack" a few days after my last entry! Holly man what a wonderful book. This book has helped me open up my eyes to so many different things. One of the biggest things is I am a child of God and he loves me no matter what mistakes I make or if I fall down and need to get back on my feet. Before I read this book I thought if I made a bad choice or if I didn't succeed at something that I would have a mark put next to my name and my chances of meeting or heavenly father someday would be diminished. Boy was I wrong! And that has helped me carry my head through both good and bad times. I also realized or more like believe that everything both good and bad happen for a reason. It is all a part of the bigger plan that god has for you and part of the reason that you are on this earth. That has helped me with dealing with the loss of many things, especially my Grandma, and yes even Ginger. Now like I have said before I haven't been close with Ginger for a really long time, if I could ever say I was close with her, more like looked up to her, anyways it has helped answer the question of "Why did you take so a beautiful and loving person, mother, sister, wife, aunt, friend, daughter out of this world at such a young age. And the answer to that goes back to EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFETIME HAS A CONNECTION TO THE BIGGER PICTURE. Does that mean I am not sad. Well obviously not, but I feel more closure with the loss of young lives, or any life for that matter. I'm telling you if you ever get a chance to buy this book, i 100% recommend it over and over again. The ending will blow you away!
I am now getting involved that my mom recommended to me. Its called "You're Hearts Desire." I have not gotten to far into it yet, but what I have read so far I have totally loved! Its another religious type book and it focuses more on how you REALLY want to live your life, and what you really want out of your life. The title explains it all, its about "You're hearts desire. I will keep you updated on it.
I got to catch up with Amber the other day for a little bit which put a huge smile on my face. We didn't get to talk very long for I was on my way to work, but to me its not the length that matters as much as the content of the conversation. I am going to call her again in about a week or so so that we can finish catching each other up after all these years.
Work is starting to pick up a little a bit, which is awesome. Matt has not been laid off yet and to be honest it doesn't look like he is going to be, which would be great for both of us.
I cant believe that Christmas is almost here already. I know in one of my last blogs I expressed the stress I was feeling about Christmas, but I have to admit that my stress has gone down a bit, and I really feel its because of the knowledge and feeling inside that I got from reading the Shack. I cant express enough how much and in how many different ways that book has helped me. Everyone is asking me what I want from Christmas. I keep telling everyone "Now think really hard and you will be able to figure that out." Matt especially knows. OK that should have just given it away! :)
Well I guess I better get back to my work and get some stuff done! You all take care and feel free to leave comments!

A Thing To Always Remember...

I found this and I am posting it for anyone that has ever lost someone that they care deeply about. Just something to keep in mind:

Angels live forever

far beyond our days on earth
and evey soul receives
an angel guardian at birth.
Invisible, these angels
never leave us day or night.
They know our fears
and whisper,
"Things are going to be all right".
They give us strength
and purpose,
Keep our hope
and courage strong,
they fill our minds
with wisdom
and our spirits with a song.
And when the time
in this world comes
to reach our journey's end,
our angel walks beside us
like a kind, familiar friend.
And as we leave behind
the only place we've ever known,
we see our angels smile
at last and hear
"You're home...you're home."

Life As We Know It.....

So its been a few days....I know....Im sorry....Anyways this week has just been crazy!
First I got canceled from work 4 days this week. Which causes much stress not only because Christmas is coming up, but I am behind on so many things and loosing that many days and hours just is not going to help the situation.
Then my car broke down, which we thought was going to be a big mess to fix but actually with the brains of my boyfriend Matt and my little brother they were able to figure it out and fix it with no problem. Which was such a releif. Although I know I need a new car, financially I just cant get one right now. Which really frustrates me because I work my butt off and I am begining to wonder why if I cant even get things when I need them. GRRR!!! It makes me feel like just giving up sometimes.
But that is why I am so pleased with the book that I am reading. It could not have come to me at a better time. Its called "The Shack" by William P Young. Its about a guy that took his kids camping and his youngest daughter was abducted. To make a long story short he really looses his faith in God and started asking the famous question of "Why?" Anyways he goes back to this shack with little did he know his life would be changed forever. I would love to tell you more but I am horrible about not giving the ending away. Anyways this book has really help restore my faith in a lot of things and has helped me understand a lot of why things happen. Just because pain occurs in your life it doesnt mean that God doesnt love you. If you are having issues with beliveing or in God this is totally the book for you.
Then there is the stress of my brother. I love this kid so much, he is not only my brother but my best friend. And I know he is young still and I too was that age once, but it just breaks my heart to watch him go through the lessons that we all have learned at that age. I wuld do anything in this world to be able to take all his pain and stress away and just let him be able to begin his life. But I know I cant do that that only he can do that. But hey I can dream cant I. I mean really who likes to see their loved ones in distress?
I am also getting very financially worked up about Christmas. Its my favorite holiday to show people how much I have appreciated them through the year, and it doesnt feel like this one is going to allow me to do that, at least not through a lot of presents. I know I know people dont expect presents in order for them to know you care and love them, but it has always been my one holiday that I can spoil people the way they have me over that year.
And it just seems like I am going backwards financially instead of forward. I mean I love working agency, not only cause I get a variety of work, but because it is prime for work. But I am begining to wonder if I am going to be able to do it much longer. But I have to cause my ultimate goal in life is to get my degree in nursing and in order to do that I need to have a flexible work schedule. But at the same time I cant keep getting deeper and deeper financially.
And then there is one of my biggest stressers this week. My boyfirend Matt job....He has been at his job for gosh 12 years now I beleive. And every year they lay off a few of the part timers because they get slow for a bit and so on and so forth. Well they have not layed off any of the full time people since the depression.....until now....They have layed off several full time people and Matt is very worried about his number coming up. We sat down and figured everything out and with my checks the way they have been and his unemployment there is no way we could pay all of our monthly bills. Not only that but with all of Matts loans that he has out for various things he now could take the chance of loosing everything....we could loose everything....I am trying on the outside to assure Matt that we are going to be ok, but on the inside I am scared as all heck. Why is this happening I cant help but ask!!!
So that is whats going on at this point in time. So that is why I havent been on in a few days! Any advice??????

Here is a beautiful article about Ginger Zierenberg/Clinton. It just shows what a beautiful person she truly was.

http://www.moorparkacorn.com/news/2008/0801/Front_page/004.html

I realized.........

So I am totally new to the blogging world, but am very much excited to get started in this fascinating new world of communication.

Gosh where do I even begin. I guess I should start with why I decided to try this new way of communicating with people.

I have been getting in touch with old childhood friends through my facebook. I am so excited to see and hear about what everyone has been doing since high school. Anyways, one of my old friends from middle school, Amber, emailed me yesterday and told me that her sister, Ginger, had passed away on July 20, 2008 of an unexpected heart condition. My mouth just dropped when I read this email. I remember back in junior high how much I looked up to Ginger. I wanted to be just like Ginger. But then again I think most people in the school felt the same way. She had the coolest clothes; the coolest hair; the coolest walk; I mean the list could go on and on. Ginger was 2 years older then me in school, and most older kids didn't think it was cool to hang out with us younger ones, but not Ginger. Ginger never cared what other people thought. Only what she felt in her heart. Ginger always made you feel like you were your own special and unique individual. I remember one time I even tried out for the cheerleading team, because Ginger used to be on it. I mean I look back on all of this now and I laugh to myself. But in all reality I could not have picked a more pure, loving, caring, individual to be my childhood idol. I have not been in contact with Ginger in gosh I don't know how long, but Ginger is the type of person, actually the whole Zierenberg family, are the type of people that forever leave a mark on your heart. You can go years and years, as I have, without contact with them but when you finally do connect again that same feeling is still there. I was telling my boyfriend last night, "when you are around any ones of these family members they make you want to do and believe in the right thing. They make you feel inner peace and acceptance within yourself. They are the type of people that no matter what they will always hold a special place in your heart." Gjnger will be greatly missed, but she will never be forgotten. My heart goes out to the whole Zierenberg family, and also Gingers husband Jason and her beautiful children. I know just as everyone does that Ginger might be gone but she will forever be watching over all of us and continuing to help us through tough or difficult times, and will also be there to share in new and exciting experiences that we will encounter throughout our lives.

So why you might ask did this experience make me want to start the world of blogging. Well I guess when I got this news yesterday I felt this feeling inside that I couldn't even explain. I felt a sense of emptiness and fear. I didn't know how to express my feelings to anyone more or less because I didn't know what to say. When I saw how everyone that was a part of Gingers life used this form of communication to get their feelings out and how it helped them to find peace in not just the passing of Ginger but anything and everything that goes on in their lives, I figured that it might help me also. And to be honest it has. Through this whole situation it has made me realize that I may take life for granted a little to much. You never know when its going to be your turn to join God in his heavenly kingdom. I need to start living life in the moment. I want to build a relationship with God and with everyone around me. I mean don't get me wrong I believe in God 150%, but I can honestly say that I don't have the relationship that I should have with him. And I want to know if and when it is my turn to go that I have done everything I possibly could in life. That I have traveled the road that God planned for me. That I have made not only him but everyone around me happy and proud to have had me a part of their lives. I want to AGAIN be just like Ginger and make a mark in peoples lives so that they will forever and always remember me.

When I heard how sudden Ginger had passed it really freaked me out. It just goes to prove that you never know when its your time. And if I were to go tomorrow I would be leaving this world with so many regrets and I have come to the conclusion that that is not how I want to leave this world. I want to leave this world proud of my accomplishments and what I have done not only in my life but in other peoples lives. I want to find peace and comfort within myself and with my maker.

Just the little while that I have been writing this I already feel so much better. I don't know if anything I have said has made any sense to any of you but it does to me.

Although it breaks my heart and saddens me terribly to know that Ginger has been taken from the world that surrounds her, I thank Ginger and the whole Zierenberg family for allowing me to have known this beautiful person. I also thank Ginger for once again making me realize what I have to do next. Even though she is not physically with us anymore, she is still making a difference in our lives, and she forever will!