I realized.........

So I am totally new to the blogging world, but am very much excited to get started in this fascinating new world of communication.

Gosh where do I even begin. I guess I should start with why I decided to try this new way of communicating with people.

I have been getting in touch with old childhood friends through my facebook. I am so excited to see and hear about what everyone has been doing since high school. Anyways, one of my old friends from middle school, Amber, emailed me yesterday and told me that her sister, Ginger, had passed away on July 20, 2008 of an unexpected heart condition. My mouth just dropped when I read this email. I remember back in junior high how much I looked up to Ginger. I wanted to be just like Ginger. But then again I think most people in the school felt the same way. She had the coolest clothes; the coolest hair; the coolest walk; I mean the list could go on and on. Ginger was 2 years older then me in school, and most older kids didn't think it was cool to hang out with us younger ones, but not Ginger. Ginger never cared what other people thought. Only what she felt in her heart. Ginger always made you feel like you were your own special and unique individual. I remember one time I even tried out for the cheerleading team, because Ginger used to be on it. I mean I look back on all of this now and I laugh to myself. But in all reality I could not have picked a more pure, loving, caring, individual to be my childhood idol. I have not been in contact with Ginger in gosh I don't know how long, but Ginger is the type of person, actually the whole Zierenberg family, are the type of people that forever leave a mark on your heart. You can go years and years, as I have, without contact with them but when you finally do connect again that same feeling is still there. I was telling my boyfriend last night, "when you are around any ones of these family members they make you want to do and believe in the right thing. They make you feel inner peace and acceptance within yourself. They are the type of people that no matter what they will always hold a special place in your heart." Gjnger will be greatly missed, but she will never be forgotten. My heart goes out to the whole Zierenberg family, and also Gingers husband Jason and her beautiful children. I know just as everyone does that Ginger might be gone but she will forever be watching over all of us and continuing to help us through tough or difficult times, and will also be there to share in new and exciting experiences that we will encounter throughout our lives.

So why you might ask did this experience make me want to start the world of blogging. Well I guess when I got this news yesterday I felt this feeling inside that I couldn't even explain. I felt a sense of emptiness and fear. I didn't know how to express my feelings to anyone more or less because I didn't know what to say. When I saw how everyone that was a part of Gingers life used this form of communication to get their feelings out and how it helped them to find peace in not just the passing of Ginger but anything and everything that goes on in their lives, I figured that it might help me also. And to be honest it has. Through this whole situation it has made me realize that I may take life for granted a little to much. You never know when its going to be your turn to join God in his heavenly kingdom. I need to start living life in the moment. I want to build a relationship with God and with everyone around me. I mean don't get me wrong I believe in God 150%, but I can honestly say that I don't have the relationship that I should have with him. And I want to know if and when it is my turn to go that I have done everything I possibly could in life. That I have traveled the road that God planned for me. That I have made not only him but everyone around me happy and proud to have had me a part of their lives. I want to AGAIN be just like Ginger and make a mark in peoples lives so that they will forever and always remember me.

When I heard how sudden Ginger had passed it really freaked me out. It just goes to prove that you never know when its your time. And if I were to go tomorrow I would be leaving this world with so many regrets and I have come to the conclusion that that is not how I want to leave this world. I want to leave this world proud of my accomplishments and what I have done not only in my life but in other peoples lives. I want to find peace and comfort within myself and with my maker.

Just the little while that I have been writing this I already feel so much better. I don't know if anything I have said has made any sense to any of you but it does to me.

Although it breaks my heart and saddens me terribly to know that Ginger has been taken from the world that surrounds her, I thank Ginger and the whole Zierenberg family for allowing me to have known this beautiful person. I also thank Ginger for once again making me realize what I have to do next. Even though she is not physically with us anymore, she is still making a difference in our lives, and she forever will!