Life As We Know It.....

So its been a few days....I know....Im sorry....Anyways this week has just been crazy!
First I got canceled from work 4 days this week. Which causes much stress not only because Christmas is coming up, but I am behind on so many things and loosing that many days and hours just is not going to help the situation.
Then my car broke down, which we thought was going to be a big mess to fix but actually with the brains of my boyfriend Matt and my little brother they were able to figure it out and fix it with no problem. Which was such a releif. Although I know I need a new car, financially I just cant get one right now. Which really frustrates me because I work my butt off and I am begining to wonder why if I cant even get things when I need them. GRRR!!! It makes me feel like just giving up sometimes.
But that is why I am so pleased with the book that I am reading. It could not have come to me at a better time. Its called "The Shack" by William P Young. Its about a guy that took his kids camping and his youngest daughter was abducted. To make a long story short he really looses his faith in God and started asking the famous question of "Why?" Anyways he goes back to this shack with little did he know his life would be changed forever. I would love to tell you more but I am horrible about not giving the ending away. Anyways this book has really help restore my faith in a lot of things and has helped me understand a lot of why things happen. Just because pain occurs in your life it doesnt mean that God doesnt love you. If you are having issues with beliveing or in God this is totally the book for you.
Then there is the stress of my brother. I love this kid so much, he is not only my brother but my best friend. And I know he is young still and I too was that age once, but it just breaks my heart to watch him go through the lessons that we all have learned at that age. I wuld do anything in this world to be able to take all his pain and stress away and just let him be able to begin his life. But I know I cant do that that only he can do that. But hey I can dream cant I. I mean really who likes to see their loved ones in distress?
I am also getting very financially worked up about Christmas. Its my favorite holiday to show people how much I have appreciated them through the year, and it doesnt feel like this one is going to allow me to do that, at least not through a lot of presents. I know I know people dont expect presents in order for them to know you care and love them, but it has always been my one holiday that I can spoil people the way they have me over that year.
And it just seems like I am going backwards financially instead of forward. I mean I love working agency, not only cause I get a variety of work, but because it is prime for work. But I am begining to wonder if I am going to be able to do it much longer. But I have to cause my ultimate goal in life is to get my degree in nursing and in order to do that I need to have a flexible work schedule. But at the same time I cant keep getting deeper and deeper financially.
And then there is one of my biggest stressers this week. My boyfirend Matt job....He has been at his job for gosh 12 years now I beleive. And every year they lay off a few of the part timers because they get slow for a bit and so on and so forth. Well they have not layed off any of the full time people since the depression.....until now....They have layed off several full time people and Matt is very worried about his number coming up. We sat down and figured everything out and with my checks the way they have been and his unemployment there is no way we could pay all of our monthly bills. Not only that but with all of Matts loans that he has out for various things he now could take the chance of loosing everything....we could loose everything....I am trying on the outside to assure Matt that we are going to be ok, but on the inside I am scared as all heck. Why is this happening I cant help but ask!!!
So that is whats going on at this point in time. So that is why I havent been on in a few days! Any advice??????